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Top Ten Signs Your Putt Is Too Tough
- The greens are so fast, the announcer says, "He hit that
one a tad too much. Uh oh, IT’S OUTTA HERE!
- After you figure the break, the elevation, the speed,
the grain, the distance,
the curves and the wind, you still have to multiply by pi.
- Spike marks taller than Ed Grimley’s hair.
- If you miss it, the ball spins off the green into barbed
wire-enclosed quicksand.
- Faster than Madonna after three beers at an NBA party.
- Worm holes, crabgrass, old plugs, weeds, footprints, clover,
fungus, bumps It’s a sadist’s Connect the Dots.
- Harder than a teen-aged boy at a Britney Spears concert.
- You might as well read a Chinese computer manual.
- In the early morning dew, the ball leaves a rooster tail
of blood.
- Make it? $100,000. Miss it? Walk the plank over the Toxic
Sewer of Death.
© Clark Peterson author
of The Goober's Guide To Golf
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