The Ducks
Three golfing buddies died in an auto accident and went
to heaven.
Upon arrival, they noticed the most beautiful golf course
they have ever seen. St. Peter told them they were welcome
to play the course, but he cautioned them with one rule:
"Don't step on the ducks."
The men had blank expressions on their faces, and finally
one of them said, "The ducks?"
"Yes," St. Peter Said. "There are millions of ducks walking
around the golf course, and when one of them is stepped
on, he squawks, and then the one next to him squawks, and
soon they're all raising hell and it really breaks the tranquility.
If you step on the ducks, you'll be punished."
The men start playing the course, and within 15 minutes,
one of the guys stepped on a duck. The duck squawked, and
soon there was a deafening roar of ducks quacking.
St. Peter appeared with an extremely homely woman and asked,
"Who stepped on a duck?"
"I did," admitted one of the men. St. Peter immediately
pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man to the
homely woman. "I told you not to step on the ducks," he
said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."
The two other men were very cautious not to step on any
ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally
did. The quacks were as deafening as before, and within
minutes, St. Peter walked up with a woman who was even uglier
than the other one. He determined who stepped on the duck
by seeing the fear in the man's face, and he cuffed him
to the woman. "I told you not to step on the ducks," St.
Peter said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."
The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't
even move for fear of nudging a duck. After three months
of this, he still hadn't stepped on a duck. St. Peter walked
up to the man and had with him the most beautiful woman
the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled and without a word,
handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.
The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman
for eternity, let out a sigh and said, "What have I done
to deserve this?"
The woman replied: "I don't know about you, but I stepped
on a duck."
