Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I doubt that. I don't think you could keep your head down that long."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 "
Caddy: "Try heaven," advised the caddie. "You've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!"
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that a half hour ago!"
Golfer: "Well, Caddy, How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer Golf."
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before,Sir."
Golfer: "Caddy, Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Oh yes, Sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time It's distracting!"
Caddy: "This isn't a watch, Sir. It's a compass!"
Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"
Golfer: "This golf is a funny game."
Caddy: "It's not supposed to be."
Judge: "Do you truly understand the seriousness of things when you swear and state an oath?"
Boy: "Do I ever, your honor! I once caddied for you!"
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddie. It looks far too old."
Caddy: "It still could be; it's a long time since we started, sir."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" he screamed."
Caddy: "I doubt it. That would be too much of a coincidence"