Top Ten Signs You’ll Never Break 100
- The starter sees you coming and quickly puts out a sign that says No Swing, No Clue, No Service.
- You’ve never shot your age but you have shot your cholesterol count.
- Your idea of an athlete is John Daly downing a frosty tall one with a cigarette dangling off his lip.
- You refuse to post a score until Florida does a hand recount of each hole.
- Your name is Tripp Bogart, but you’re better known as Triple Bogey.
- The only eagle you ever had was confiscated by a Fish and Game official.
- Every year you attend the Million Mulligan Man March.
- You’d much rather break 100 hymens.
- Instead of practicing, you buy magic birdie beans from a gypsy woman.
- After 18 holes, your buddy wants to play another round but you’d rather cuddle.
© Clark Peterson author of The Goober's Guide To Golf