Top Ten Signs Your Divot is Too Big
- That light shooting out of the hole you made is from a miner’s helmet below.
- Put it next to Charlton Heston’s toupee and you can’t tell the difference
- It has more square footage than the average front yard in Hong Kong.
- The Bureau of Land Management issues you a citation for environmental brutality.
- A nearsighted, horny fox mounts it.
- You stamp WELCOME on it and put it on your front doorstep.
- There are enough worms in it to start your own bait shop.
- It contains the entire hip bone of a fossilized brontosaurus.
- You need a forklift to pick it up and a carpet layer to put it back.
- Smack in the middle is the bloody severed head of a gopher.
© Clark Peterson author of The Goober's Guide To Golf