Top Ten Signs It’s Too Cold for Golf
- Even with Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart in your group, you still don’t feel warm and fuzzy
- You have to wear the visor with the plaid, woolen ear flaps.
- Your hands feel warmer when they touch a witch’s breast.
- Your cart sinks when it hits an iceberg.
- It’s hard to read a putt with Tammy Faye Baker icicles on your eyelashes.
- It drops below the temperature of an IRS agent’s heart.
- When you fell through the ice, you realized taking a divot on a frozen pond wasn’t such a hot idea.
- You’re trapped by snow in the course’s restaurant, ominously named the Donner Party Grill.
- The greens are groomed by a Zamboni.
- Your balls are blue.
© Clark Peterson author of The Goober's Guide To Golf