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Top Ten Signs You're Too Old for the Senior Tour

  • When you take off your golf shoe, you notice a tag around your toe.
  • Your foursome tells you to be quiet but it's just your bones creaking
  • You need a cart just to get to your car
  • One of your competitors loses his ball in your prodigious ear hair.
  • Every time you swing, the waistband on your knickers chafes your nipples.
  • You have 3 walking speeds: doddering, shuffling and wobbling.
  • You strain your groin area just telling a joke.
  • Your golf ball: 384 dimples. You: 384 liver spots.
  • You have only two groupies – Carol Channing and Kate Hepburn.
  • Good news: You make it into the Golf Hall of Fame. Bad news: it’s posthumous.

© Clark Peterson author of The Goober's Guide To Golf

 

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